The Tale of Tuberose Moss Took
by Snittycakez
Summary: She curtsied, looking slightly ridiculous in her filthy attire. "Tuberose Took of Tuckborough, if'n ye please. Traveling saleswoman and licensed healer. Wares include natural herbal remedies, knit wearables, and the best handmade fudge on this side of Bree." Rating may change. OFC.
1. Chapter 1

By the time she arrived within the borders of the Shire the lights in the houses had already been extinguished. The only sound signaling her arrival was the creaking of the cart's wheels and the soft clopping of her pony's hooves against the soft earth . The rider herself sat, slumped over in the seat of the small wagon, worn out and worn down from the trip that had led her there. "Ho, Coxcomb." She reigned in the stocky Icelandic, ignoring the miniature creature's indignant huff at being halted so abruptly. The woman swung herself down with a soft grunt, grabbed a rucksack from the back of the cart that appeared to have been made for an individual twice her size and made her way towards the round door that promised a bed and a warm meal.

As she stooped to turn the handle she paused to examine a rune etched into the freshly painted emerald wood. She puzzled over the mark briefly before deciding that comfort came before curiosity. Not a very Took-like thought to think but she couldn't be bothered to worry about inherited personality traits at the moment, not when the aroma of freshly baked cod beckoned her inside. Pausing just once more to scrape the mud off of the calloused undersides of her feet she turned the knob.

Thorin stood at the head of the table in the hobbit-grocer's dining room, having just silenced the racket of the rest of his company. He opened his mouth to continue chastising them when a slightly raspy voice interrupted him before he could begin. "Oi, Bilbo! What's with the mark on the door? Did'ye get into Farmer Maggot's fields again? I've told ye time and time over…." The voice trailed off as the speaker caught sight of the rough looking dwarves seated around the table. Thorin frowned as he took in the small beings appearance. Tendrils of brown hair strayed out from underneath the hood of a patched cloak, mud crusted the hemline of the garment and splattered the new arrival's threadbare traveling tunic. She was dirty, fat, and judging by her loud entrance, was also outspoken. He already disliked her.

The stumped expression that had graced her features while Thorin made his judgements furrowed in confusion as she checked the engraved door mantle, unsure if she was in the correct dwelling. "Ummmm…pardon the interruption sirs. Is this by any chance still the residence of one Mr. Bilbo Baggins? Short, plump little blighter, brilliant at conkers…." She was cut off as the subject of her description struggled past the dwarves to smother the other hobbit in a rather tight embrace, not paying any mind to the state of her clothing, as the perplexed dwarves looked on. "Rosie!" He exclaimed. "It's been five years for Tooks sake! Not even a letter or a "Ow've you been?" NOTHING. I was worried sick! Did you even take a handkerchief?" The small woman he was still clutching gasped, her face steadily growing more red (Thorin found it hard to believe such a thing was even possible.) until she smacked his arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"There'll be time f'that later, now gerroff me, you're being rude!" She heard him mutter something about violence being unladylike before she turned to address the still staring dwarves. She curtsied, looking slightly ridiculous in her filthy attire. "Tuberose Took of Tuckborough, if'n ye please. Traveling saleswoman and licensed include natural herbal remedies, knit wearables, and the best handmade fudge on this side of Bree."

The dwarves all looked at her with varied expressions ranging from vaguely amused to incredilous and annoyed before the friendliest looking of them responded. " Bofur, at yer service." He grinned and winked at her before nudging the dwarf to his right who responded to Balin. This went on down each side of the table until Thorin was the only one who hadn't answered. It was only when Tuberose prompted, "And you?" Did he grudgingly reply, "Thorin Oakenshield."

"Ah, pleased ta meetcha I'm sure." Her eyes were then drawn to the only person in the house tall enough to reach the ceiling. Bilbo noticed her body tense when the wizard met her gaze. She nodded stiffly, "Gandalf."

He nodded back, sorrow seeming to weigh down on his shoulders before returning to his original posture. "Hello my dear Rose. A pleasure as always. Might I enquire as to what brings you back to the Shire, for I confess I am curious."

She gave him a tight lipped smile before replying. "A bit o' this an a bit o' that. Just came back 'cause I'm tired of sleeping in rabbit holes y'know?" If she hadn't have felt the need to inspect the bottoms of her feet again for dried mud, she would have noticed the flabbergasted looks on the faces of the company.

" That, and it was along the way I'm traveling. On my way to Dale y'see. They got a new shipment of indigo wool and if I don't get there first, then those bastard merchants from Rohan will. Now, might I enquire as to what your business is in the Shire? Tis' nobodies birthday till next week so ye can't be selling fireworks." Gandalf chuckled at that. "Alas, not today my dear Ms. Took, I'm here on official wizarding business. Her eyes widened, intrigued. "You see, Thorin here…." He turned to gesture at said dwarf, "…has need of a-" At this Thorin quickly stood, knocking over his chair in the process and effectively silencing the older man with a harsh glare.

Taking note of the waves of tension emitting from nearly everyone in the room Tuberose coughed lightly. "Well, as I said, pleased ta meetcha. Bilbo!" The hobbit who had been wringing his hands at Thorin's abusive treatment towards his chair, jumped at the sound of his name. "Yes?"

"Come be a honeysuckle and help me get this dirt out of my clothes would'ja?"

He stammered, looking from her to the dining room filled with (once again) staring dwarves. "W-well, I-I-I…Oh, fine then." He barely had time to glare at Gandalf before being dragged away by the collar of his dressing gown.

Thorin waited until he was sure that they were out of earshot before growling at the wizard who now sat, unconcernedly puffing at his pipe. "Wizard, did I not stress the importance of this meeting being kept a SECRET." Gandalf waved off the dwarfs' concerns. "I see no reason why she should not know. She is a hobbit too after all. " He blew out a willowing trail of smoke. "In fact, it is quite convenient that Ms. Tuberose Took arrived when she did." He paused once again to add more Old Toby. Thorin narrowed his eyes, "Convenient?" He spat. "Pray tell, in what way was her interruption convenient?"

Satisfied that it was sufficiently filled, Gandalf returned his pipe to his lips and inhaling, leaned back into the chair making it clear to Thorin that he would not be rushed into answering questions. Observing how Thorin's fists clenched ever tighter with each puff, Gandalf decided it would be wise to not press the dwarven prince further.

"Why, because I am of the opinion that she would make a fine addition to your company."


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, so thank you SO much to those who reviewed, you all made my week! I apologize for the wait, life crept up and socked me in the jaw. And my Beta accidentally took my writing journal home. I love her anyway.

_~ "Why, because I am of the opinion that she would make a fine addition to your company."~_

The company, however, did not appear to share Gandalf's view as his comment prompted an immediate uproar from all in the room, save Thorin, who stared incredulously at the wizard. "We already have a burglar! Why do we need another?" argued Dori. "We can't afford to cart around another useless body."

"Aye." Dwalin agreed. "She wouldn't be able to carry a pack, let alone a sword."

"She's a _SHE!_" Exclaimed Kili. Nodding in support of his brother Fili added, "She'll want to bathe. Regularly_. _And she'll have…" Fili's face twisted into a look of disgust. "…_monthlies_. The wargs will be able to smell it from leagues away." The rest of the company looked highly uncomfortable with that reminder.

Ori raised his hand in the tense silence that followed. "But…she can knit?"

"And make fudge!" Proclaimed Bombur while patting his rather rotund stomach.

"She'll slow us down!" Gloin slammed his fist on the table. "A hobbit what can't steal is bad enough, but a hobbit _woman?!_ That's asking too much of a dwarf!"

Gandalf listened to all of this without comment, his large gray hat casting a shadow across his face. Deciding he'd had enough of their bickering, he brought his staff down upon the table, cracking the thick wood where it had struck. "That is QUITE enough! Now, if you are done listing Ms. Took's shortcomings, I will now tell you how she will be an asset." Kili and Fili snickered at that before a sharp look from Thorin shut them up. Ignoring the two siblings immaturity, Gandalf continued, "Having spent much of her life as a traveling wares seller, she is familiar with a few of the lands we have to travel and has connections in the surrounding villages. Her herbal remedies have proved effective and in some cases, the difference between life and death." He sighed and sat down to relight his pipe. "Despite what impressions you may have received from Mr. Baggins, I can assure you that both hobbits are not entirely helpless. They will defend themselves if the situation calls for it and Ms. Took is quite quick on her feet." The wizard paused. "Though perhaps not the most coordinated." He admitted.

"An' how is she able tae manage tha'?" Bofur teased. "I doubt th' girlie could outrun a hedgehog on those wee legs o' hers." Of course, Kili, Fili, and Nori thought this was the height of comedic entertainment.

Gandalf waited for them to sober before replying. "Ms. Tuberose Took has been without a proper home for the majority of her life, a situation most of you can relate to, I'm sure." Thorin's face darkened. _How dare he assume that a fat female hobbit could share their plight. _"And has ventured farther into the world than most of you I'd wager." Thorin scoffed at that, drawing the wizard's attention. " I grow weary of your stubborness Thorin, son of Thrain. _Decide. _But know this, should Ms. Took not take part there is a greater chance that you would lose your burglar." Thorin didn't see the issue with that. The small thing had proved too easily excitable from dwarves alone. Mahal save him should he find himself in a company of orcs.

The dwarven king stood to address the group. "We shall put it to a vote then." He turned to Gandalf. "I'm still not convinced however. Those in favor of the hobbit females inclusion?"

Bombur on account of the fudge, Ori, Balin, Oin, Nori who simply thought it would be humorous to witness the hobbits reactions to orcs, and surprisingly Bifur, no one thought he was aware of what had been discussed as he had preoccupied himself by munching the flowers in the centerpiece, and Fili raised their fists. Fili shrugged upon seeing his brother's look of betrayal. "First of all, we need a healer who's not deaf…."

"EH? SPEAK UP BOY."

Fili rolled his eyes at the interruption. "And a capable burglar. And we _do_ need a guide." He said with a guilty expression towards his uncle. Kili snorted and mimicking his brother, rolled his eyes. Thorin did his best to restrain himself from doing the same. Not a very kingly action.

"Those opposed?"

Dori, Gloin, Kili, Dwalin, and Bofur responded. Seven to six.

_That hobbit's fudge had better be worth this._


	3. Chapter 3

I would like to apologize in advance for any inconsistencies and/or incorrections, I'm still getting the feel of the characters.

* Just FYI: I made a mistake in the first chapter. Instead of Dale, Tuberose is heading to Laketown to trade. It wouldn't make any sense for her to go to Dale since Smaug destroyed it.

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS! You have no idea how much it brightens my day and motivates this story. Special thanks to Calla Mae for her kind words and many updates.

Also, I keep forgetting to add a disclaimer so I, Snittycake, own nothing mentioned in this story excepting a feisty female Hobbit and her ornery old pony. And possibly additional characters but that has yet to be determined.

_**Onward.**_

_~That hobbit's fudge had better be worth this.~_

That their fates were being discussed just two hallways and a waist coat closet down, was a fact that the two cousins remained blissfully unaware of. Though they, themselves were having a conversation of a similar nature.

"DWARVES?!"

Bilbo cringed at the volume of his relative's voice. "Shhhhhh! Do you want them to hea-"

"In the Shire?! In all my years I've _never _seen a dwarf anywhere that wasn't covered in stone, and trust me Bilbo Baggins, I've seen quite a lot!" Bilbo could not help but chuckle at her way of making herself sound so much more worldly than him. "_But in a way she is"_, a voice in his head whispered. _She's been places, seen things. You only know what you've read in those books of yours..._

"Bilbo?"

He jumped in his chair and saw a freshly bathed Tuberose standing at the foot of his bed in her overlarge night shift, most likely wondering why her cousin was still standing in the door way of his own room. "Ah, yes. So sorry Rosie, what was that?" She shook her head at his absentmindedness.

"I _was_ asking why they are 'ere of all places?"

"What, in Bag-End?"

The frosty look she shot him could have made Thorin shave his beard in shame. "No Bilbo, in Fangorn Forest. Of _course_ Bag-End! Aunt Bella was right when she said you were dropped at birth…"

She barely managed to dodge the pillow that Bilbo launched at her head.

It was soon decided that, in terms of pillow fighting, they were evenly matched, though Bilbo had a bit of a better aim as Tuberose soon forgot about marksmanship in her enthusiasm to exert as much force behind the pillow as possible. Adjusting her position on the bed, Tuberose made a valiant attempt to drag a comb throughout her damp curls and resumed her interrogation. "Now, honestly what do they want?"

Bilbo lowered himself back into his chair, rubbing a hand over his face and tried to think of a way to phrase the dwarves' odd request, _more of a demand really,_ that wouldn't set the temperamental woman off again. "W-well, you see…they've come to…well to offer me a position as their burglar in an _adventure_. She froze in the middle of brushing out an impressive sized knot. " No need for alarm, I've decided not to accept so no need to be-"

"DIDN'T ACCEPT?!"

"…..concerned."

Any notion of having decent hair was forgotten as Tuberose began wildly gesturing with her comb. " But Bilbo….an _**adventure**_. A right proper one at that too, with a wizard and dwarves!…Don't shake your 'ead at me!" Her accent becoming more pronounced the more agitated she became. "Where has your Tookish blood gone? Has it been drained out of you by soft liven' and comfy armchairs?" He looked offended on behalf of the furniture he was currently reclining in which was, in fact, a _very_ comfy armchair.

Disappointed, she returned to her previous task, mumbling something intelligible.

"Pardon?"

Avoiding eye contact, she grumbled, "I was hoping that you'd come with me tomorrow. To Laketown."

Now, Tuberose would never admit this to Bilbo, but she loved her cousin dearly. Though he could be an insufferable know-it-all and held too much importance on propriety, he was the only reliable relative she had. The Took family was not exactly the most stable of all communities and the majority of her family members on that side often went out on explorations of their own, without much of a thought to the child they left behind. Belladonna and Bungo Baggins had willingly accepted the small girl into their home,literally and figuratively. Young Bilbo at first had been a tad apprehensive at no longer being the center of attention (on the first day of her stay he put honey in her hair) but changed his mind soon after (once she shaved his feet in retaliation). Despite the initial days of animosity towards each other, the two hobbits became fast friends and constant companions. Tuberose wanted those days back.

Bilbo's hesitation in answering her proposition was answer enough. He was too comfortable here. He had his books, his larder (what was left of it), and a bed that he could be sure would be in the same place at the end of the day. What right had she to drag him away from all of that?

She sighed, mad at herself for bringing it up. "Forget I mentioned it."

"But, Rosie…"

"I said forget it!" She snapped.

Bilbo paused at her sudden change in mood before settling beside her on the bed and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I am glad that you are back. Even if it is just for a day."

Tuberose smiled at him through her mass of damp hair, returning Bilbo's affection with an awkward pat on his head and, sounding very much like herself again, stated. "Yes, well when your only companion is an ornery old nag, you'll look for any excuse to come home again." Wiggling out from under his arm, she started for the door then hesitated. "And I think you should reconsider the dwarves' offer. You're not nearly as proper as you'd like to think."

Proving these words to be accurate, Bilbo stuck his tongue out at her.

She snorted, "Oh, _very _proper. We'll make a Took of you yet!"

He grinned at that and shooed her out of his room to her own accommodations down the hall. Sighing, he ran a hand over his tired eyes. "Better go make certain that my dining room is still in one piece…"

Bilbo entered the room just in time to witness the subject and outcome of their vote. "I say!" He exclaimed, causing all of the dwarves, with the exception of Oin, to jump at the unexpected noise. "You can't just make that kind of decision without her acknowledgement! Besides, she's only just arrived and….." At this he glared at Gandalf, "…is tired."

However, Gandalf chose to ignore the little man's continued glaring and in a nonchalant manner commented, "She, herself said that she planned on journeying to Laketown tomorrow. She'll just find herself with more company than originally expected."

If looks could kill, the wizard would have been lying in a pinewood box six feet under the earth. "Listen here Gandalf, if you think for one moment that I'll let my cousin-"

Thorin cut him off. "She's your cousin?" That caught the dwarves' attention. They turned towards Bilbo in unison. Which quite unnerved the poor hobbit.

"Well….yes. But I hardly see how tha-"

"You allow your kin to venture from your home unaccompanied? "

"Isn't that what you're doing?"

The surly dwarf had not often had his hypocrisy exposed. And never by one so small. Thorin glowered down at the tiny man, trying to intimidate the hobbit into submission. The hobbit glowered back. He needed a new strategy of defense. Seeking to maintain control of the situation, he turned to Balin, "Give him a contract."

Bilbo accepted the rather lengthy piece of parchment and squinted as he tried to read the ornate script. He was barely listening as Balin prattled on about fees and required signatures and….wait a minute…..

"Funeral arrangements?!"

Thank you for reading and please review, it helps with inspiration and motivation, it really does. Suggestions and advice are more than welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm sure that you've all noticed this by now, but in case you did not, this is an AU and I will be taking liberties with the time frames during certain events and situations. Hopefully I won't butcher it too badly, but if one of you has an issue with some of the changes I make, please feel free to tell me (politely, chivalry isn't dead yet) and I will do my best to explain and make amends. This goes for really anything in this fic. I won't be able to please everybody but if even one person still enjoys this story then I will still be happy.

Diclaimer: I own nothing except the afore mentioned sassy hobbit lass, and ornery old pony. If I did, then quite a few dwarves would be running around shirtless.

~_Bilbo accepted the rather lengthy piece of parchment and squinted as he tried to read the ornate script. He was barely listening as Balin prattled on about fees and required signatures and….wait a minute….._

_ "Funeral arrangements?!"~_

As Bilbo was contemplating whether or not what he had just read was a poorly executed joke on the dwarves part or written in complete sincerity (judging by the grave expressions on the faces of all members of the company, he feared the answer was most likely the latter), Tuberose was making her way to the kitchen to see if the previously mentioned dwarves had yet picked it clean. She was pleasantly pleased to find that her cousin had stashed three butter rolls in the dressing gown that she was currently wearing _(it wasn't very proper for an unmarried hobbit woman to be in the presence of so many males in just her nightclothes but propriety be damned, she was hungr_y). Since a venture to the kitchen was no longer necessary she made to return to her room before the sound of growing panic in her cousins voice prompted her in the other direction.

She turned the corner leading to the entryway to see Bilbo reading what looked to be….stiff toilet paper? His voice reached a pitch normally meant for dogs when he squeaked, "Laceration….perforation…._INCINERATION?_"

Tuberose approached him, attempting to calm his excitable nerves and proceeded to read the contract, her thick eyebrows wrinkled in concentration as she mumbled the words under her breath. Her presence did little, as Bilbo's now pale face shot up, mentally pleading for one of the company to snatch the sheet from his hand, grumbling, "I said _relaxation_ not laceration!" or something similar but no one came forward except the dwarf who had winked at Tuberose.

"Oh aye, a dragon's fire will melt the flesh clean off yer bones y'know. Think extreme heat, a moment of agonizing pain, and then-"

While Bofur's intention had been to call the lass's attention to the dangers that would be faced on their journey, the one he actually managed to frighten was poor Mr. Baggins who now lay spread out on the hallway rug.

"Well done Bofur." Came the dry comment from Gandalf. "Tuberose, be a dear and help me get him to a chair."

"Oh, I rather like him as he is." She chirped even as she started to lift her cousin from under his arms. "This way he won't be needing the bigger bed."

One of the younger dwarves, Ori she thought his name was, giggled at her remark before lapsing into sullen silence when, _…Oh, what was his name? Derpi? Dobbi? Donni?, _cuffed him on the back of his head.

_And here I thought dwarves were supposed to be friendly,_ Tuberose mused. Together she and Gandalf (_mostly her, as the wizard wouldn't let go of his staff)_ managed to sit the still unconscious hobbit in his armchair. Leaving her cousin in the care of Gandalf, Tuberose shot a glare in Bofur's direction as she made her way to the bathroom in search of smelling salts. She was just entering the hall, having secured the scented minerals, when she found her way blocked by a fawn colored mass. Lifting her head, she recognized the dwarf whose tactlessness had been the cause of her cousins fainting episode.

"Did you need something?"

Bofur winced inside at the icy tone in her voice. He truly hadn't meant to make her relative collapse, he had simply wanted to discourage Ms. Took from accompanying them. A hobbit he could handle, but a female…? He cleared his windpipe before addressing the tiny woman in front of him, who looked as if she would much rather shove those smelling salts down his throat than revive her cousin.

"Ah…..nay lass.." This apparently was the wrong way to address her, as the small female bristled at the term even more than she already had. "..er..ma'm? I just wanted tae offer my 'pologies fer my lack of….sensativities in th' dinin' room, wot with yer cousin faintin' an' all…."

"Duly noted Mr. Bungo. Now if you would kindly step out of the way, I have an unconscious hobbit to tend to."

Giving him barely any time to move, she shoved past him with a sup rising amount of force for one so small. Obviously, his apology had not been accepted.

Making sure that he had not received any injuries on his already soft head, Tuberose remained at her cousin's side, restlessly tapping her overly large foot and frowning at any dwarf who came to near as she waited for Bilbo to wake up. The whole scene gave the dwarves the impression of a mother bear defending her cub. A midget bear, but ferocious nonetheless. Mama bear had nearly decided to give up and go ahead with the plan of commandeering his bed when Bilbo jerked back to reality with a little snort. She muttered, "Well it's about bloody time…"

He looked at her in confusion before inquiring. "You?"

"Visiting."

"Larder?"

"Empty."

He took a moment to compose himself after this grave bit of news. "…Dwarves?"

"Still here."

One of the older dwarves interjected with, "Tea?"

"Accepted." The pair responded in unison.

The matronly looking dwarf handed them their mugs before disappearing into the hallway to do, Mahal only knows what. Bilbo wearily exhaled before facing his recently returned relation. "I can't do what they ask of me Rosie, I really can't.I'm a proper hobbit, I am! And " She let slip a small smile at his use of her childhood nickname. She sipped her tea (_peppermint with rich hints of vanilla_) before answering.

"Well, you know my opinion of Gandalf, and while I don't hold him in the highest of regards…." She paused to take another sip of tea (_that dwarf surely knew what he was doing, the tea was delicious!_). "…I think that an adventure, no matter how late it might make you for dinner, will do you a great deal of good."

His only response was to frown at the one person he had hoped would be reasonable and burrow further into his armchair. She smiled at this minuscule attempt at rebellion and patronizingly patted his head. "Just think it over." She stood up, collecting her now empty tea mug before making her way to deposit it in the kitchen, then off to her respective bedroom to catch up on some much needed sleep.

The dwarves had already gone in the wee hours of the morning when she awoke. The sweet sound of silence was proof enough. She rolled out of the small nest that she had made on the mattress out of Bilbo's quilts and extra throw pillows and landed with a graceful thud. Rubbing her sore bum, she grumbled obscenities at the hardwood floor as she began to feel her way towards the bathroom to freshen up and get started on her tasks for the journey ahead.

Bilbo, on the other hand, came to with the smell of bacon pervading his nostrils. Following the scent, he noticed no signs of the dwarves that were supposedly there last night. He felt torn between relief and regret. Because, if the dwarves were simply the result of a case of indigestion and a poor sleeping position, then surely Tuberose…..

…..was at the kitchen stove, fully dressed, a pan of bacon in one mittened hand and a warm mug of tea in the other.

"**Rosie!**" He exclaimed.

She jumped nearly a full quarter of a foot in the air, spilling her tea all over her freshly laundered traveling tunic. "Drat it Bilbo! Y'can't just sneak u-" Her scolding was cut off by Bilbo's swift hug around her middle. "I thought you were only a bad case of indigestion, a raw piece of fish or a badly buttered crumpet!"

"Yes, yes, I know that my good looks are beyond mortal understanding…."

"Where are the dwarves?"

She looked down at the hobbit still wrapped around her stomach. Worry apparent in her voice, she slowly said, "Bilbo, dwarves don't come into the Shire. They haven't for twenty thousand years…." He let go of her waist and ignoring the concerned glances she shot at him, made his way to the living room where he had seen them last. The sounds of Tuberose still puttering around the kitchen was reassuring that she, at least, was not a figment of his imagination. He inwardly cringed at the crack that Gandalf had left in the his dining table, the split in the wood traveling straight down the middle until its path was hidden under a familiar looking piece of parchment.

His head shot up to see his cousin standing in the doorway, her knapsack slung over her shoulders and a napkin full of bacon clutched in her tiny hand.

"I already signed it."

Bilbo looked to the contract. Sure enough, there was her signature scrawled in green ink, large letters and ink blots contrasting sharply with Balin and Thorin's elegant handwriting. Tuberose's face broke into a broad grin as her cousin snatched a quill from a nearby inkwell and hastily signed just below her name.

The tranquility of the late morning was broken as the two hobbits raced through the Shire on Coxcomb's back, upending flowerpots and leaping over picket fences in their haste to catch up with the rest of the company. While Bilbo's face was a prime example of sheer terror, the tiny lady whose waist he clung to in desperation was laughing aloud in delight even as one of the Sackville-Baggins clan shouted after them, "DISTURBERS OF THE PEACE!"

After much overturning of topsoil, reckless riding techniques on Tuberose's part, and near panic attacks _(courtesy of Bilbo) _they reached the dwarves. Thorin scowled, unamused at the sight of the two hobbits who were still trying to catch their breath. "We….*wheeze*…signed…it!" gasped Bilbo, handing the slightly rumpled paper over to Balin. Placing a tiny pair of pince-nez atop his bulbous nose, the older dwarf analyzed the page before nodding in approval. "Welcome to the company lad and lassie!" Thorin just glared at the pair _(how DARE these hobbits have the audacity to catch up to us after we ate them out of house and home, then left before they awoke. How dare they!)_. The only response he gave, however, to the pair's abrupt arrival was to bark out, "Give him a pony!"

Bilbo huffed. _He only just got off one of the damn things! _


	5. Apologies and Placations

Hello to all of the lovely followers of this story. I apologize profusely for the sorry lack of chapters that this useless excuse for a writer has uploaded. I'm attempting to juggle so many things at the moment, these past couple of weeks have been absolute misery and to make things better, I've recently contracted Strepp throat. Which is painful but fortunately, has allowed me to work a bit on the next chapter which I predict will be quite lengthy so hopefully that will tide you over.

If ya'll have any ideas or concepts that you would like to see incorporated into this story, please let me know. A HUGE thank you again for being so patient, I'm so sorry for the delay, I'll try to make the wait worth it.

In the meantime, I have some concept sketches of what I viewed Tuberose to look like if any are interested, you can find them here, Hobbit Lass and here, Tuberose Took of Tuckborough

Also, I have a little experimental comic project that I am doing again, for any who are interested, Coffeeshop Reunion

Thank you all!


	6. Chapter 5: Friends and Companions

I am SO SORRY for the long wait! Hopefully this will make up for it? Thanks to **L.C. Doyle** and **Gladoo89 **for their well wishes and giving me the incentive to get off my arse and update after so long. THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the below except a sassy female hobbit, her equally sassy pony and any changes I include to the plot are strictly my own, as are any other additional characters.

Thorin just glared at the pair _(how DARE these hobbits have the audacity to catch up to us after we ate them out of house and home, then left before they awoke. How dare they!)_. The only response he gave, however, to the pair's abrupt arrival was to bark out, "Give him a pony!"

Bilbo huffed. _He only just got off one of the damn things! _

It was late into the evening when Oakenshield finally decided to put an end to Bilbo's misery. Much to Bilbo's dismay, Tuberose had dubbed the surly dwarf, Lord Grumpyguts, a name she thought fitting,(though Bilbo would never let her say it aloud) and on the duration of the ride, amused herself by imagining that the source of their esteemed leader's stern demeanor was a case of emotional indigestion. _You'd never find a hobbit with that sort of problem_, She thought to herself. _Stomachs of iron we have._ After unloading her meager supplies from off of Coxcomb's back, she proceeded to wander about the area that they had temporarily claimed.

Though she knew very little of violence, she knew quite a bit about not being found and the location that Ole' Grumpyguts had chosen was an ideal place for defense. With a craggy rock formation at their backs, and a small cliff to their side, there was little chance of being taken by surprise. She had to admit (albeit a tad grudgingly) that the dwarves might actually be good for something besides house demolition and food disposal, though they still had yet to prove it.

She just wished they would leave her cousin alone. The majority of their ride had been filled with jokes from that insufferable dwarf, (_Bungo was it?_) at Bilbos expense and the two younger dwarves had made it worse, hoisting him up into the ponies saddle like that without warning. The only reason she was left out of most of their nonsense was because they seemed to think she would bite them if provoked (_they weren't completely wrong)_. She knew that they couldn't understand his panic over forgetting his handkerchief, the embroidered cloth being the last gift from his mother, or his reservations on burglary (if they only met up with Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, now _there_ was a hobbit who knew how to steal..) but she did not blame them, not entirely. Except for that one with the lumpy hat. He knew that his actions were unkind, yet he didn't seem to care. "_Well,"_ Rose thought as she glared in the direction of the aforementioned dwarf, _"Here's one hobbit he won't find so easy to tease." _Though she had to admit, his brother (younger or elder, she couldn't tell. With the great bushy beards covering half their faces it was hard to determine age) had been more than accommodating towards her. She instantly took a liking to the rotund dwarf, mainly because his name was the only one she could remember, alongside Thorin. It was hard to forget the name of someone who stood out so…prominently. Fortunately, Bombur's heart was as wide as his girth and he rode alongside Tuberose, comparing dwarven dishes to hobbit meals, prying her for her fudge recipe, and after hearing that hobbits eat seven meals a day, he immediately expressed his desire to convert to hobbit-ism. The look on Thorin's face was priceless.

Perhaps it was because of Bombur's quick acceptance of the small woman, but whatever the reason Ori seemed to relax a bit around Rose and Bilbo, more so than he had in Bag-End. The shy scribe had joined Bombur in riding alongside the hobbits and though he had appeared startled when Rose first addressed him, the two were soon in deep discussion over the intricacies of various knitting patterns. Luckily for her, she discovered that once Ori grew comfortable with someone, he soon became quite chatty. As a result she learned much about the rest of the company, that they were all related one way or another (_and she had though Hobbits had large families…_), that Balin and Dwalin were Grumpyguts' oldest comrades and their devotion to their king was insurmountable, and that the youngest dwarf had numerous worries in regards to his two brothers.

Though she tried to offer advice where she could, Tuberose found herself unable to be of much use, having been on her own for so long and tending to avoid familial conflicts in general. Luckily, she was saved from further discomfort by Bombur, who "required" her assistance in preparing their evening meal.

Bofur sat quite aways apart from the rest of the company, uncharacteristically quiet and brooding. These qualities were common with their soon to be King but not the charismatic toy maker. So caught up in his thoughts, he neglected to realize that Bifur had been attempting to sign to him in their version of Dwarvish sign language until a particularly hard acorn clonked him between his furrowed brows. "Oi!" He glared, rubbing the now tender spot. "What was tha' fer ?!"

Rolling his eyes, the older dwarrow grunted in response before waving a hand in the direction of Bofur's brother and the lady hobbit. Ms. Took. Bofur sighed inwardly. It was clear she disliked him, maybe even hated him. True, he could have been kinder to her cousin, but he had never quite learned to restrain himself when it came to teasing and poking fun. But it was all done in jest. The only one who thought his antics unamusing were those two hobbits! "_Stuck up busybodies,"_ He thought to himself, grinning as he pictured the two trying to burgle their treasure from Smaug's nose.

Bifur watched his cousin stare in the direction, looking rather put out before chuckling at nothing at all. The grizzled dwarf shook his head. And the others called **_him_** mad. Hmph!

Finally Bofur got up off his arse, and made his way over to the pot of stew that his little brother was currently trying to empty by himself. Grabbing the ladle from the oversized ginger's grasp, he rapped him smartly across the knuckles. "Allright, you've had more than enough." Ignoring Bombur's longing looks at the stew, Bofur filled two bowls before thrusting them towards a passing Bilbo. "Take these to th' lads would ya?" Turning away from the stammering little man, Bofur found himself once again face to face (though the height differences made that difficult) with Ms. Took.

Who proceeded to scowl right back at him. Well, if he could count on anything, it was the small woman's ability to hold a grudge…..

Once again, caught up in his thoughts, Bofur missed what the lady hobbit had been saying. "I beg yer pardon?" She huffed, irritated. "I said, either fill my bowl, or give me the ladle if you are just going to stand there like a dolt!" She made a grab for the utensil before he yanked it out of her grasp. "Now, now Ms. Took. What's th' magic word?" He knew he was being irritating but not even he took very kindly to being called a dolt by someone whose head barely came level with his shoulder. "Excuse me?!" He wanted to laugh outright at the incredulous look on her face. "Ye heard me right lassie. No magic word, no stew."

He expected her to huff and puff and maybe even stomp one of those outrageous feet of hers but the blow she dealt him with her earthenware bowl had caught him completely off guard, and he gazed after her as she flounced back to her pony, fuming and stew-less. His eyes watering from the pain in his nose, he slunk back to his spot around the fire and tried to ignore Bifur's chortles at his expense. By Durin, that hobbit had a strong arm!

By Tuckborough, that dwarf was insufferable!

Tuberose fumed as she rubbed down Coxcomb. She needed something to do in order to ignore the growling of her stomach, and the laughter and belching she kept hearing from the other side of the camp wasn't helping in the slightest. So she amused herself by imagining that Bombur allowed her to use his older brothers face as a scouring pad for the stew pot. _Perhaps he would also allow me to starch his long johns, _She mused, _Now Bilbo would think that ….Where is Bilbo?_ He had not yet returned from getting the two miscreants their food.

She was about to swallow her pride and point this out to Lord Grumpyguts when the two younger dwarves came stumbling out of the trees, leaves and twigs tangled in their already disheveled manes. It took her a bit to figure out what the princes had been attempting to say between pants.

"Bilbo…*_gasp*_…Trolls….took …_*wheeze*_…..help…..

Tuberose paused only long enough to grab her dagger and a frying pan before she shot off into the woods.

Hopefully, you all liked this chapter and I will make an extra attempt to ensure that you do not have to wait so long for the next one :( And, you know, reviews can't hurt either and I'd love to hear what you think about me completely butchering this series of events. Thank you ever so much for reading!


	7. Chapter 6: In Which Bofur Apologizes

** Hello once again, I'm on top of it this time and managed to get this chapter typed out without making too many errors (I hope). And thank you to ****_L.C. Doyle_**** for suggesting that I include a description of Rose in this chapter, I hope it is to your satisfaction! And a big thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter, Karasu-LaoHu, creepyLOTRfangirl55, LadyDunla, ,Gladoo89, and, L. thank you guys so much! And a big thank you to everyone who's reading this, you make writing this damn thing worth it.**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the below except the changes I've made, and the characters I've added, all else is either Peter Jackson's or J.R.R. Tolkien's. But if I did own this, the things I would do…..**

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_She was about to swallow her pride and point this out to Lord Grumpyguts when the two younger dwarves came stumbling out of the trees, leaves and twigs tangled in their already disheveled manes. It took her a bit to figure out what the princes had been attempting to say between pants. _

_ "Bilbo…*_**_gasp_**_*…Trolls….took …*_**_wheeze_**_*…..help….._

_Tuberose paused only long enough to grab her dagger and a frying pan before she shot off into the woods._

* * *

The woods surrounding the small woman were dark and her thoughts as she rushed to her relative were darker still. _What possessed him to follow those two rockheads in the first place? He _**_does _**_know what trolls are, for Took's sake, doesn't he?! Good heavens, what if he gets stepped on? Or eaten?! What if….what if….. _Her thoughts trailed off into an incomprehensible blur of various gory scenarios her cousin could potentially find himself in and these lent speed to her feet.

Thorin's thoughts were a lot less concerned and a lot more cross._ Bloody hobbits, wandering where they're not wanted, getting captured by trolls and whatnot. Blast!_

Fili and Kili were just hoping that their uncle would be distracted enough by the troll to forget that this whole situation was mostly their fault…..

Unfortunately for Rose, her stubby little legs were not good for short distance sprinting, and she soon found herself being passed up by most of the dwarves in the company who soon left her behind. This was even more infuriating when, adding insult to injury, She tripped over a tree root in the inky blackness and went sprawling into the dead leaves and loam that littered the forest floor. She pushed herself up, spitting out decomposing vegetation and feeling around for her frying pan.

"Here y'are."

She looked up at Bofur's outstretched hand in surprise, having not expected anyone to turn back for her, much less the dwarf she had so recently backhanded with a dinner bowl. But there he was, looking at her with that mischievous glint in his eyes. "Well lassie, if ye wanted ta' take a nap, ye should've said sumthin'." She smacked his hand away, choosing to get up by herself. "I'll have you know, Mr. Bungo, I tripped." Well, now she was just getting his name wrong on purpose. "I have no intention of "takin' a nap" as you so put it, while my cousin is in mortal peril!" And with that, she snatched her frying pan from out of Bofur's offering hand and took off once again before-

"Um, lassie? They're this a'ways….."

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By the time she and Bofur made it to the troll camp, the rest of their companions were in the midst of the fight, and try as she could, Tuberose could not make out where her cousin could be in all that confusion. And all the dwarves jumping around like mad rabbits were not helping in the slightest. So she did what any level headed Took lass would do.

And flung herself straight into the middle of the action.

Bofur took a second to roll his eyes at the small woman's foolishness, chuckling a bit before following right after her.

_"Perhaps this decision was a bit too hasty"_, Rose thought to herself as she narrowly avoided being crushed on the underside of one of the trolls great feet._ "Maybe I should've stayed on the sidelines and…Oh, I don't know…thrown _**_stones _**_or something." _Another close call had her definitely regretting this decision, before she saw that Ori was about to be sideswiped by the less intelligent troll's giant meathook. Not even thinking about the consequences of her actions, Rose scrambled up on the nearest rock with a speed she didn't know she possessed. Launching herself off of Dwalin's head (she'd hear about that one later) she smashed her frying pan into the trolls thumb and barreled into the skinny scribe with enough force to knock him out of the way of a blow that, otherwise would've taken his head clean off.

Ignoring the incredulous stare that was directed towards her (_probably for having the gall to jump off of the head of the biggest dwarf in their company_) she shoved Ori's slingshot into his grip. "Fight!" She urged him before turning to do the same when the look on the youngest dwarfs face caused her to turn around. And get the breath knocked out of her when a giant hand swung in her direction, swatting her off her feet and into the bushes surrounding the clearing where she immediately lost consciousness as her head struck the ground.

When she came to, the members off the company had been stripped of their outer clothes (_she knew she should shield her eyes from that, but this was a life and death situation, propriety be damned!_) and their weapons in a pile off to the side. From what she could tell, Bofur, Dwalin, Bifur, Dori, and Nori had been tied to a gigantic spit and were being roasted as the others lay tied up in potato sacks on the ground. "_Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear…..",_ She tried to ignore the headache that was splitting apart her head and began thinking of a way to help. Being as quiet as possible, she began to make her way around the camp to a position in which she could catch one of their eyes and potentially communicate a means of escape. While doing this she had to stifle her laughter at the surly dwarven king's expression at being tied up like a piece of meat. "_Well, technically that's what he is. To the trolls anyway."_ She finally got around to the bushes opposite the pile of dwarves, the bruises and lump on her head making the journey a slow one. It took a few tries before Bilbo of all people spotted her, and attempted communication when something the trolls said caught his attention, something about sunlight. She couldn't hear too well and therefore didn't pay much attention to their conversation (_something about seasoning?_) until one of the trolls picked Bombur up by his feet, meaning to eat her new friend whole!

Bilbo saw Rose struggling to get up, most likely to do something suicidal to save the overlarge dwarf and so he did the only thing he could think of to distract her.

"WAIT!"

All eyes were drawn him, Rose's included. He wanted to laugh at her expression, bafflement mixed with shock, making her large eyes bulge and her nostrils flair. Quite humorous, really.

"You can't eat them like that!" He tried to reason. "They're,…." He trailed off begging Rose mentally for assistance. Sure enough, his cousin was clutching at her stomach, an expression of mock agony on her face. The whole situation was reminiscent of the games of charades they would play as children….

"INFECTED! They're infected! Yes, infected is what they are!"

"Wot with?" Questioned the troll that seemed most suspicious to what the hobbit was up to.

"What with?" Bilbo looked back to Rose, seeing her helplessly try to think of something. He quickly turned his eyes back onto the troll, praying to Hamfast Gamgee's garden that the creature didn't notice the direction he had been looking towards. "Ah, erm yes, well… they have….." Rose made a wiggling motion with her pointer finger. "Worms?!" She nodded. "Yes, they have worms…." At this he glance apologetically at Tuberose before saying, "…in their tubes?"

The glare she was giving him promised a sound scolding if they lived through this.

However, the troll was not buying it, and if it wasn't for Gandalf's timely, (_and rather dramatic reappearance_) Bilbo was certain they all would have been eaten.

After everyone had been untied, examined the now stone trolls and Lord Grumpyguts had once again, asserted his authority, most of the dwarves including Gandalf went off to explore the troll's cave. Why they would ever want to do that was beyond Rose. The thing smelled of rotten meat, feces, and decomposing matter. No thank you.

She was starting to rethink going down into the cave when Bilbo, after she unthinkingly had mentioned losing consciousness, began fussing, and Dori, after hearing Ori fervently thanking her for saving his life, joined him in mothering the, _fully grown thank you very much_, hobbit woman.

They only left her alone after she consented to having her head, _just her head thank you_, examined by Oin. Having been pronounced being nowhere near death, the two fusspots finally left her alone to deal with the headache, the result of arguing with the stubborn goats.

She sat herself on a log, grumbling at the injustice of being examined against her will when a fist full of what looked like daisies that she identified as feverfew and a bowl of stew appeared in her line of vision. "I heard ye bumped yer wee head." Bofur, offering her help again? Mayhaps she had misjudged the strange looking dwarf. "With a noggin tha' big it's no wonder." Then again, maybe not. But, nevertheless, she should be grateful. After all, he had helped her twice in one night. "My thanks Mr. Bofur." She accepted the stew and feverfew.

At her use of his name, a grin threatened to split his face in half. "Aha! I knew ye knew m'name! Tha' were a cruel jest lass, pretending' ta ferget a dwarf's name like tha'."

Attempting to smother her own smile, she stuck her nose up. "Well, then consider it payment for forcing me to starve last night." At that, he rubbed the back of his neck, looking awkward and slightly uncomfortable. "Er, about tha' las…..er, ma'm, I don't always know when te' stop when jestin'. I shouldn't of done tha'. Twas in poor taste.I fergot how much ye Hobbits eat in a day" He looked into her face, his eyes portraying his apprehensiveness. She hesitated slightly before deciding that his apology seemed in earnest.

"Apology accepted Mr. Bofur. I should be apologizing as well, I have a habit of holding onto grudges as I'm sure you can tell." She paused to take a sip of stew when she noticed how fidgety the dwarf was. "Would you like to sit down Mr. Bofur?"

"Ah, thank ye, no. And it's just Bofur, miss. "She smiled at that.

"Then it's just Rose to you, M- ..er..Bofur."

"Aye, Mis- Rose. So, pact?"

"Yes, I'd say so." The dwarf let out another crooked grin and bowed jestingly before walking towards his brethren.

Tuberose sighed, wondering what exactly had just transpired before deciding that thinking was a pastime best done on a full stomach. _Well, I guess I won't have to worry about whether or not I'll get supper in the evening anymore,_ She thought. She finished the rest of the stew and despite the protests coming from her aching body, made her way to a shallow pool that she spotted while the others were busy distributing weaponry. Kneeling down, she splashed her face and washed away the blood (_hers or theirs, she couldn't quite tell_) from her hands.

The reflection staring back at her from the water was not the same face she remembered from her early adulthood. Traveling as often as she had, did not allow the luxuries of a mirror so she took this rare moment of peace to study her features. Her honey brown hair had managed to stay knotted at the base of her neck, a few curls pasted to her forehead from sweat. Over-large hazel eyes stared out from beneath dark brows and dark ringed sockets, the results of many a sleepless night, if the bags under them were any indication. She fingered the slight curve of her nose, glad it did not resemble the piggish snout that was a common trait of the Tooks, though she had inherited their obvious overbite. She sighed and turned away from the rippling water. She was no beauty, that was for certain, but at least she wasn't entirely hideous to gaze upon. Merely pretty, was how her mother had described her. Aunt Belladonna had been far kinder when it came to her niece's looks. She would take the time in the evenings to brush out Rose's thick mane of hair, marveling over the sheen and weight. _Honey Girl_, Aunt Bella had called her. _"My Honey Girl."_

Wiping at the tears that had sprung up unbidden at the memories, Tuberose splashed more water to eliminate any traces of her weepiness. She had just gotten up to enquire as to the whereabouts of Coxcomb, before a violent rustling was heard in the surrounding bushes. All the dwarves immediately went on the defensive, the three Ri brothers forming a half circle around the tiny woman, while she griped about not being able to see anything. As the rustling grew closer, she gripped her pan harder with one hand and with the other grabbed her cousin's. Nodding to each other, they braced themselves for what they were sure would be a messy battle.

However, what burst out of the bushes and into the middle of the company was possibly the **last** thing she expected to see.

"Are those…..rabbits!?"

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**I hope this chapter was more to everyones satisfaction and all the characters were "in" character :) Please review, as it makes for speedy updates, and I love hearing what anyone who reads this has to say, especially suggestion or constructive criticism! **

**Thank You!**


	8. Chapter 7: Open Your Eyes

**A big thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter and another thank you to those who continue to read this story and put up with my inconsistence in updating. Ya'll are troopers and I don't deserve to have such kind readers and reviewers. **

**I do hope you like this chapter, there is a bit of a cliffhanger but I did enjoy writing out the ending. THANKS FOR READING :D**

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_ However, what burst out of the bushes and into the middle of the company was possibly the _**_last_**_ thing she expected to see. _

_"Are those…..rabbits!?"_

* * *

The rather large rabbits had been pulling a strange looking contraption which appeared to be a sled of sorts, cobbled together using what looked to be tree branches and multiple types of fungal growth. But if Rose thought that the creatures pulling the sled were unusual, the person manning it was even more so. His clothes were so overgrown with moss, he could easily have blended in with his surroundings and they would never have found him again. His beard was long enough to rival Gandalf's though unlike the grey wizard, this one was threaded through with leaves and twigs. To top it all off, a hat with flaps that gave the impression of an oversized hare perched atop his head. "_He and Bofur should compare hat makers sometime." _She thought, observing their similar taste in ridiculous headgear.

"Gandalf!" exclaimed the odd man before he tugged the other away from the company. From what little she could see, for she was still surrounded by the Ri brothers, the tree person proceeded to wave his arms about and work himself into a state. He was ranting on about….._Oh, confound her bad hearing!_….spiders…sickness…..

…A Necromancer!

"He's back!" She gasped aloud, causing the tree person to stop his arm waving and all eyes to be drawn to her. She didn't notice the curious stares she was receiving, so focused was she on controlling her rapidly beating heart. Bilbo tried to steady his cousin, perplexed as to why a name would cause the normally steady Rose to have such a reaction. He grew even more concerned when she at clutched his sleeve, and he looked into her eyes. In them he saw genuine fear. If he hadn't been panicking before, he surely was now.

"We don't have time for this!" growled Thorin. The dwarf leader looked about ready to shake her out of it when Bofur stepped forward and whispered, "Give 'er a minute, ye'll just scare her more." Though he didn't look too content to follow the toymaker's advice, Thorin acquiesced when Balin caught his eye and raised his brow. "Very well." he grumbled and went to glower beside Dwalin. Dori, bless him, immediately sat her down on a nearby rock and withdrew a flask of chamomile tea from his pocket. "There there, Miss Rose." He soothed the woman, patting her back gently. "Nobody is going to harm you." She stared at him, eyes still wide with fright before taking a deep breath, and though she wasn't convinced, nodded at the kindly dwarf before taking a sip of chamomile and handed the tea back with a shaky smile. Bofur shot a cheeky grin back at Thorin as if to say, "Y'see?" Thorin just rolled his eyes and huffed.

Thanking the older dwarf for his kindness, Rose was starting to feel the icy hand of fear that had gripped her melt away when suddenly, it returned in full force when the woods around them echoed with a chilling howl. Poor Bilbo took his turn clutching at Rose's hand and feigning bravery, pulled her behind him and drew his wee sword with shaking hands. "Was that a wolf?" He asked, the question hanging in the air, waiting to be answered. It was a few seconds before Bofur responded, saying, "That was no wolf…." He trailed off, his eyes seeking out the one person in the company that he had deemed helpless.

Rose's eyes widened as she realized what he was referring to. "Warg." She whispered.

As if summoned by its name, an unearthly growl arose from behind the company. Rose felt her body freeze in terror as the one creature she had hoped never to see again came into view. The wolf-like beast snarled at the company before leaping straight for the two halflings.

* * *

Rose could not have rightly recalled who it was that killed the animal, however she did have the sense to get out of the thing's way, dragging poor Bilbo along with her by the back of his breeches (a fact that he would rather not have mentioned.) The dwarves seemed more than willing to make certain that the Warg was dispatched, as well as the one that appeared immediately afterwards but it was soon apparent that if they did not make haste, more wargs would follow.

Though dwarves were not particularly efficient at cross country, they had no issues with sprinting short distances, darting from rock to rock. The same could not be said for Bilbo and Rose who were having trouble keeping up with the group, adding to Thorin's growing list of frustrations. That, and that his nephews seemed to think it their personal duty to assist the she-hobbit along did not help. Rose didn't think she could possibly run any farther but the knowledge that those …._things _were close behind and catching up lent speed to her stubby legs. Though, she had judged him as a rather queer fellow, she was immeasurably grateful that the tree person was adept at managing a rabbit driven sled. The Warg riding orcs probably would have kept chasing the crazy old wizard had it not been for the dwarves' over-enthusiasm when it came to silencing of one of the scouts.

The orcs soon had the company surrounded on all sides, not even Thorin could hide his fear when he saw the direness of their situation and the exhaustion in the members of the company. He saw Balin and Dwalin nod at each other, their faces grim as they prepared to defend their king till their last breath. His nephews looked to him as if he could make it all go away. But he couldn't. Not against these odds.

But let it not be said that they went down without a fight.

The company sprang into action, each dwarf targeting a warg and their rider. Rose found herself out in the open as she stood back to back with Bilbo who was still gripping his blade as if a tighter hold would force back the fear that she could feel radiating through his jacket. An orc rider grinned in their direction, amused at the sight of two such small creatures attempting to make a stand. Her mouth went dry as the disgusting being drew a wicked looking blade, stained from a long list of past victims. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Rose brandished her frying pan and launched herself at the laughing face of the orc.

The orc's laughter was abruptly cut off when her pan made contact with its ugly face, an expression of surprise bordering on shock replacing the mirth. The tiny force behind the blow was just enough to knock the creature from it's steed, and leave it lying in the grass breathless as the hobbit woman fought back the orc's warg, targeting it's eyes and screaming obscenities at the beast that had Bilbo chastising her from across the battlefield.

Unfortunately, the fury of one small hobbit woman was not enough. She barely had time to let out a surprised laugh at her unexpected victorywhen one of the beasts that had escaped her notice, caught ahold of her ankle in it's slavering jaws. The resounding crack of her bones breaking was immediately drowned out by a scream that sent chills down the spines of those who heard it, putting a pause to all fighting.

Bofur's heart nearly stopped when he saw who was the source of the sound. Taking advantage of his opponent's distraction, he bashed it's head in with his mattock and started cutting down the orcs that separated him from her. The others caught on and redoubled their efforts, eventually forming a half circle around the small woman while Bilbo rocked her limp form back and forth, tears starting to fall when she failed to respond, having passed out from the pain and the shock. The sight only caused Bofur to fight back harder. Though he wasn't a trained soldier like Dwalin, he would fight back with all his strength to make sure the hobbits made it out of this alive. He would deal with her calling him Bungo, if only she would open her eyes.

It was then that Gandalf chose to make his reappearance, calling for the company to follow him whilst he gathered Rose up in his arms and disappeared into a rocky crevice, the others following close behind.

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**Let me know what ya'll think in a review PLEASE. They make my day, they really do and i'm completely open to any and all constructive criticism. If you think some things need fixing or a character is OOC and/or you have an idea or request of future chapters I will be more than happy to hear them.**

**Also, is just me or does the song "Dust Bowl Dance" by Mumford and Sons represent Thorin PERFECTLY? It popped up on my Ipod while I was writing and I was struck by the lyrics and how they match Thorin's personality and the raw anger of some of the words are just spot on.**

**Just an observation. It makes his background ten times more tragic.**


	9. Chapter 8: You Are Beautiful

**I'm SO SORRY for the wait you guys! I've been in Nebraska for a costume design competition, then Texas, and haven't been able to get on the internet. But, I finally got a chance to sit down and relax and write. So, here's a kind of fluffy chapter for ya'll who have been waiting for something to happen! **

_**Thank you everyone who has been following this slightly deranged story, I apologize profusely for making ya'll wait, it was for a good reason though, I PROMISE!**_

* * *

_It was then that Gandalf chose to make his reappearance, calling for the company to follow him whilst he gathered Rose up in his arms and disappeared into a rocky crevice, the others following close behind. _

Bilbo paced back and forth in front of the infirmary door. The elves of Rivendell had whisked Rose into the room and had forbade entry after himself, Ori, Nori, Dori, Bombur, Kili, Fili, and Bofur had tried to follow her limp body into the room. Lord Elrond had taken pity on Bilbo and had introduced him to their expansive library, but Bilbo couldn't enjoy himself fully until he knew that his cousin was awake and responsive, though he did his best to keep himself occupied. In the couple of days following Rose's injury, the small man could often be seen just outside her door, reading one of the voluminous tomes he had chosen at random. The dwarves were restless even in this serene place, and had taken to amusing themselves by breaking the elves' furniture and recreating knick knacks out of the remains.

Bilbo wondered how they could act so unconcerned and destructive whilst a member of their company was lying, unconscious and dead to the world. He wondered how they could grumble about elves and the lack of meat when his cousin remained lost to him. He recalled how limp she was in Gandalf's arms. How her head rolled back when Gandalf handed her off to the healers at the steps of Rivendell, how he, Bofur, and Ori had matched pace to follow them until a stern looking she-elf barred their way. How the three of them waited outside of infirmary for hours, Dori bringing them tea, bullying them into taking baths and Bombur saving plates of food for them when they didn't join the rest of the company for dinner.

Alright, so dwarves weren't COMPLELETLY heartless.

Bofur left Bilbo and Ori propped up against each other, snoring loud enough to keep him from sleep. He made his way through the twisting halls till he found the balcony that the rest of the dwarves had claimed as their own. He looked to where his brother sat atop a shoddy elven table, the timbers creaking under his weight. He was tempted to throw a sausage to the oversized dwarf, just to see how the table would hold up. But strangely, he wasn't in the mood for merrymaking. To be honest, he didn't feel merry at all. The normally easy going dwarf frowned at himself, grabbing a tankard of ale from Balin and choosing to sit and observe the fun rather than join in. He was just about ready to doze off when Bifur plopped himself down. The gruff dwarf took a couple of puffs on his pipe before addressing his cousin. **_"What is wrong with you?"_**

Bofur attempted a grin and joked, "Well boyo, I was just feelin' sorry for th' poor table tha' Bombur jus crushed 'neath his fat arse!" Bifur fixed him with a stern glare. **_"Hhhmmph. I know you better than that. It's the girl isn't it?" _**Bofur nearly choked on the ale he just swallowed before conceding. "Aye. It's jus….hobbits, they don't live long to begin with. And to have yer cousin hurt….." He trailed off, pointedly looking at the axe that had buried itself in Bifur's forehead with no hope of coming out. "…I feel sorry fer 'em is all." To avoid meeting Bifur's searching eyes he took a swig of ale. "Well, guess I'll turn in." Bofur got up in search of his bedroll amongst their supplies. He could feel Bifur's gaze on his back, boring holes but for once he had nothing to say that would ease his cousin's concern.

Rose slowly opened her eyes. Blurred colors and shapes blended themselves together, till she couldn't tell what was what or where she was. She blinked, trying to clear her sight. A ceiling, covered in interwoven white branches appeared, then a doorway, through which peered a dusty lilac figure, dressed in knitted fabric…."Ori." She rasped, her voice rusty from disuse. "Ms. Rose!" The young dwarf exclaimed. "How are you? " He questioned, rushing to her bedside. "Better than before, that's for sure." She muttered, still trying to get her bearings. "Ori, where are we?"

"Rivendell Ms. Rose! Oh, you should see their library! The bookshelves are taller than Gandalf!"

She chuckled at that. "Though that sounds fascinating Ori, I'd much rather see something I can eat. Though, I'm sure Bilbo would be interested. Speaking of Bilbo, where is-"

"ROOOOOSSSEEE!"

"Oh, there he is."

She was nearly smothered by Bilbo's hug, and when she caught her breath again she saw tears welling in her cousin's eyes. "Oh, now Bilbo. It wasn't that bad was it?" Bilbo smacked her lightly on the wrist. "Not that bad?! By my waistcoat Ms. Tuberose Took, it has been nearly a week!"

She peeked around Bilbo to shoot a questioning glance at Ori who mouthed, "Three days."

Rolling her eyes, she turned her attention back to her cousin who was now sulking on the edge of the bed. "Oh Bilbo." She grasped his hand. "I AM sorry." He sighed and turned around. "I know, and I should be the sorry one. But….you gave me such a scare Rosie. I don't think I've ever been more scared in all my life!" She raised an eyebrow at that. "Not even when Farmer Maggot caught us in his cornfield?" She asked, unconvinced.

Bilbo shook his head solemnly. "Not even then."

Bofur thought he would lose is ability to breath when Ori skidded down the halls of Rivendell, hollering, "SHE'S AWAKE! SHE'S AWAKE!" And not just because the shy dwarf possessed the loudest voice he'd heard out of the company yet. He told himself it was just relief at hearing that they had not lost a member so early on in their journey and the bad luck that such a misfortune would have meant. He quickly grabbed the carving he had made out of the leg of that table that Bombur had crushed and hastily ran his fingers through his mustache, hoping that no crumbs had stuck in the coarse hairs after last night's supper. Tucking his tunic into his belt distractedly, he hastened to the room where Rose had been residing in for the past three days. He stopped just outside the doorway in order to straighten his tunic once more before rapping twice on the wood. By Mahal, why did he feel so nervous?

"Come in!" A jovial female voice called out.

The door opened to reveal a grinning Rose, covered in a bedspread on which lay a wide array of assorted carvings and whittled ornaments and surrounded by Bilbo, Bombur, and the Brothers Ri. So he hadn't been the only one who had wished the tiny woman well. He nearly turned to walk out of the room when she looked up and cried out, "Mr. Bofur!" His head snapped up and he grinned, ear to ear at the sound of his name. "Beggin' yer pardon Ms. Rose, I just stopped by to see a young hobbit lassie, near death and her leg snapped clear off, but al I see's a feisty little lady. Surely ye can tell me where I might find 'er?" He ducked the pillow that came sailing near his head. Nori smirked to himself, amused at the situation and dragged a protesting Dori and confused Ori out of the room, Bombur and a rather hesitant Bilbo foliowing close behind.

"You're a tease Mr. Bofur." Rose mock scowled at him. "If you haven't come to pay your respects to a loyal little soldier, cut down in the prime of her lie during the heat of battle….." Her glare would have been more impressive had she not been trying to stifle a fit of giggles."….then I suggest you leave!"

Bofur clutched his heart, reeling in fake agony. "Leave? Surely ye wouldn't be so cruel as tha'! And who would I give this wee little decoramation to, eh?" Taking her by surprise, he tossed the carving to her. She caught it and stared, taken aback. It was_ her_. But, not her as she'd gotten used to seeing herself, as fat, and too red in the face. The carving was of her laughing at a little whittled rabbit, hands on her knees bending down to touch noses with the little creature. Instead of the unruly mass of tangles that she usually regarded her hair as, Bofur had painstakingly carved each curl making even the wayward tendrils look becomeing. Her chubbiness didn't look like fat, but womanly curves. And it was beautiful. She was beautiful.

Bofur stood by her bedside, shuffling from foot to foot and getting more jittery by the second. She doesn't like it, of course she doesn't like it. He glanced over the gifts she had received from other members of the company. A collection of local tea bags from Dori, an ink drawing of her namesake from Ori, a wee decorative knife from Nori, a stitched potpourri pillow from Bilbo, and a little box of cakes from Bombur. Carved hair claws from Balin and Dwalin, and colorful (if a bit mud stained) ribbons from Kili and Fili. He supposed some trading had occurred amongst the men of the last village they had passed to procure some of these and he cursed himself for not thinking of that sooner. But it was too late for it now, and Rose still had not spoken a word.

"Eh, I know it's not as fancy as some of the others but.." He trailed off when he heard her soft sniffle. Concern colored his voice. "Lassi- er, Ms. Rose? Are ye alright?" She nodded but continued to face away from him, sniffs still continuing to emit from her still figure. His present couldn't be THAT bad! He tried again. "Rose. Please tell me what's th' matter." She looked up at that. Her face was red and blotchy from crying, and tears were still falling silently as she struggled to get words out. She mumbled something unintelligible. "I beg yer pardon?" Bofur sat on the bed closer to her so as to better hear what she was trying to say, careful of her hurt leg.

Sh gazed at him, her bloodshot eyes wide with wonder. "You made me beautiful." She whispered. Her eyes traveled down to the carving still tightly clutched in her hand.

Bofur frowned gently in confusion. "But, lassie. Ye _are_ beautiful." He coughed awkwardly and then shrugged. "I mean, ye'd be strikingly gorgeous if'n ye grew a beard but I won't hold my breath fer that to….Ooof!"

This time, the pillow caught him square in the face.

For a second he thought he had finally stuck his foot too far in his mouth, then he heard her giggles. He grinned wide, picking his hat up from where it had been knocked to the floor and dusted it off. Replacing it on his head he struck a pose, hands folded primly under his chin. "But none is fairer than I!"

Rose nearly choked on air, she was laughing so hard at his attempt at a doe-eyed damsel. Sucking in air she gasped. "If that's the dwarves fairest in the land, I weep for the species!"

Bofur huffed, indignant. "Well, then I suppose I'll just take yer earlier invitation and leave!" He made as if to head towards the door.

"Wait." He turned to see Rose's glowing smile, the one she usually reserved for Bilbo, aimed at him. "Thank you for the carving, it's…." She grasped for a way to express in words exactly how the small gift had made her feel. The problem was that…there weren't words. So instead, she lifted off the covers attempted to clamber off the bed before Bofur was at her side. "Hold on now, Ms. Rose, ye know ye shouldn't be out of be-" Ignoring his mild scolding, Rose used the dwarf's broad shoulders to level herself and pressed a soft kiss to his scruffy cheek.

Bofur could feel his cheeks flaming. Struck dumb at the hobbit's unusually intimate show of affection, he cleared his throat and attempting to gain familiar ground, said, "Well, if that's all it takes to get a pretty lass to kiss me then I reckon I should get to carvin' more often!"

Rose shook her head in exasperation. "Oh Bofur, you're incorrigible, that's what you are."

Bofur smirked. "One of my many admirable traits, or so me cousin says…..when ye can understand him that is."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Somehow, I highly doubt that." She laughed at Bofur's hurt expression, adding, "But I'm sure he would agree if I asked him." She yawned, suddenly exhausted from all the activity. Bofur nodded, clearing her covers of the gifts and pulling the blankets up to cover the small woman. When he tried to move his carving to the box holding the rest of the gifts, Rose gripped his wrist, and already slipping off to sleep muttered. "Put it on the side table….too pretty to go in a box."

And with that, Rose Took settled into a deep sleep, this time filled with dreams of rabbits, ribbons, and a beaming, mustachioed dwarf bearing a ridiculous hat.

* * *

**Thank you again to everyone who reads this story, ya'll are the best! And remember, reviews make this wannabe writer's world go round so if you would be so kind as to review, then I will never stop loving you. **

**Hey, I made a rhyme...cool.**


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